Spanked.

The part of me I am most worried about is this…self-control as a mother.

In the last week I cannot count on my one hand how many times my son has been spanked. Yes, gasp, I spank my kids! It’s Biblical “do not spare the rod” Proverbs13v24.

I make a point of explaining to them why they are being spanked, what they did wrong and how we will fix it. Sometimes I try and give an alternative but really, if I am honest, all of this depends on how tired or untired I am.

My kids will not be spanked because they won’t eat, for example, but they will get spanked for screaming/disrespecting me or their grandparents or anyone who is older and in a position to instruct them. So, I’d say, they don’t get spanked for tedious things but for things that will make them better human beings for the world out there.

I read once that we are really not rearing our kids for ourselves but instead we are rearing them for the world. You know, their teachers, their peers (they should be the positive influencers), their colleagues, their in-laws and their kids etc.

Made sense to me and it still does, simply because, I work with and meet so many people and all too often I think “ja your ass shoulda been beaten up by your mom or dad, now we’re stuck with this little demon that is you, person X” 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t enjoy the whole exercise at all. And I have often wondered, will it at some point stop being an effective disciplining tool?

Needless to say, because I am the disciplinarian in the house, my kids are now scared of me. Which helps because I need only give them the look in order for them to step back in line. However, as a mommy, I get emotional and there are days when I hate that their little eyes, all sparkly, look at me with fear of how I would react to their missteps. And I wish someone else would decide to be the disciplinarian, someone else would teach them how to be the type of people others want to be around. I wish someone would tell me, remember one day they will laugh and thank you for being as strict as you are. Right now, I doubt a “thank you” is coming.

So I take comfort in this: Yes, I do discipline my kids and yes, sometimes I am a little hard on them but even through their pain (in that moment) and the tears…all they want is me, I am their mother and no one can comfort them quite like I can.

When I am angry that comforting doesn’t come easily but that’s what love is, it is doing what is necessary when you don’t feel like it…but that’s a whole new post.  

I have not all the answers at all but I know a God who takes pleasure in working things out for our good.

#happymonday